STEP UP: The Detour Principle
For every failure, there's an alternative course of action. You just have to find it. When you come to a roadblock, take a detour. — Mary Kay Ash
Did you hear the CBC reporter who stated that only two seasons exist in most of Canada? Winter and Construction! Detours abound here in Ontario, increased this year by both the federal and provincial governments' push for infrastructure spending. While I agree with Mary Kay Ash regarding the value of detours, I've personally done my best to avoid the word 'failure' as much as possible.
Success is generally perceived (by ourselves and others) as the opposite of failure. If we don't succeed, we apply the label 'failure,' unfortunately, often to ourselves as beings rather than just to the action at which we supposedly failed. This example of either/or thinking exemplifies one of the strong limiting beliefs that our society has accepted as the norm.
I'm convinced, though, that such a belief does not serve the greater good of the individual or society at large. Rather, it functions as an all powerful sabotage that fosters judgment of others and ourselves and encourages us to play small. Therefore, we hesitate to STEP UP. I outlined this concept in my previous blog entry, entitled STEP UP.
You might be asking what concrete principles characterize STEPPING UP. So, let me use the dichotomy, the mutually exclusive notion of success vs /failure, or winning vs losing. Often, there is only one winner and, by default, all the rest of a particular group are labelled as losers. Do we really want to subscribe to such a categorical belief? How about shifting our beliefs into an understanding of the paradox of embracing success and failure, or winning and losing as a coexisting?
What exactly does that mean? Let me suggest here that one of the main principles of STEPPING UP lies in our willingness to release the idea of opposites between which we must choose. Of course, I'm aware we deal with seeming opposites in our daily lives all the time, such as up and down (due to gravity), left and right, in or out. And yet, I'm challenging us here to stretch ourselves a little and leave our comfort zone, at least redefine it. It requires us to shift to accept the possibility that a both/and view of the world would allow us to embrace the world and ourselves as whole and complete.
Where do we begin? I suggest we learn first to recognize the box in which we find ourselves and then to venture further. Let's appreciate the box and all it offered to us in the past. We appreciate what it might continue to mean to us in our life now. Then we STEP UP to discover how we could view the box differently. What about just shifting our perspective a tiny bit? How about considering if it really is OUR box or just A box?
I'll use the roadblock, as mentioned by Mary Kay Ash, as an illustration. As you are driving along an unfamiliar road in a strange city, you suddenly, without notice, hit a road block that prevents you from continuing according to your plans. No detour signs are posted. You don't have a map with you and your GPS is not working. You can't see anybody you could ask for directions. You are expected at a meeting and now you will be running late, for sure. So what to do?
You can get upset and angry, nervous and uptight. You can jerk around the steering wheel and drive as fast as you can in another direction in the desperate hope to find the right way, intent on getting back to the road that you had to leave because you know it will take you where you planned to go.
Another possibility exists. How about you embrace the road block and envision it as your unique opportunity to redesign how you proceed? You take a deep breath. You welcome the possibility of taking a detour that has the potential of many different look-outs or scenic and historic spots. You ask yourself, your intuition, your gut, nature, the universe, God (whoever/whatever suits your perception of the world), to point you in the direction that supports you fully at this particular point in time. You let go of the route and the time line you laid out before.
Isn't that irresponsible, you ask? No, is the short answer. This detour shows up in your life because something along the way requires your attention. Open yourself up to it and trust you'll find your way. Be confident you will be on time if that is indeed important. Assume that if you don't get there despite your best efforts, you were not meant to be there, most likely.
A road block, in other words, to me does not signify failure. It reminds us of the importance of being in the here and now. It symbolizes opportunities for STEPPING UP and enjoying the detour we are invited to take. Each detour is filled with scenic look-outs and inside looks at ourselves. As a result, we may or may not continue along the planned route. However, it provokes us, sometimes gently and sometimes more vigorously, to glimpse and begin to own aspects of our being, thus our lives, that remained vague or hidden before.
As long as we can embrace the so-called road block fully, we can embrace the detour, regardless of how much our conventional perceptions are being challenged. We STEP UP to the detour as the portal to identifying more strongly with our own wholeness and connectedness to all around us. We learn to recognize that we live in relationship to the world within and around. We can accept that even though the road appears blocked, it is not a question of either/or but a question of both/and. After all, if it were not for the road blocks in our lives, we might never get to experience the world more fully. I'm reminded of Aristotle's famous words: "The whole is greater than the sum of its parts."
Viewing the road block and the detour as intricate pieces of the same puzzle dissolves the tension of the opposites and encourages us to STEP UP. We now begin to realize the power of the paradox in our lives that serves and enriches us.
Stay tuned to more on the principles of STEPPING UP.
Posted by Martina Steiger at 6/27/2009 5:00 PM 
Categories: Inspirations
Tags: box relationship failure whole wholeness connectedness success either/or detour paradox both/and step up opposite
Categories: Inspirations
Tags: box relationship failure whole wholeness connectedness success either/or detour paradox both/and step up opposite
It certainly reminds me of the message from a friend that maybe it is time for me 'to face the music.'
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Facing the music is like facing our fears. Once we do that, they disapear.
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I have a blog called "embrace the detour" and so I googled "embracing the detour" (I'm trying to determine if other people have used the phrase) and found your site. Really enjoyed this post! "Viewing the road block and the detour as intricate pieces of the same puzzle dissolves the tension of the opposites and encourages us to step up." -- I couldn't agree more!
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I find myself coming to your blog more and more often to the point where my visits are almost daily now!
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