Success! Failure! Two extremely powerful words that make hearts sing or bleed! They etch themselves into our minds and souls, causing us much grief and maybe some glory, as many athletes, coaches, families and whole nations can attest to right now during the Olympic Games.
A difference of two 1/100th of a second can turn a success to failure, it seems. To put it in perspective, that's just about 2.5-3 times the speed of the blink of an eye. Imagine that! Now imagine the consequences of seeing your apparent success turn into failure because you were off by three blinks of an eye.

The power of words! Who grants them this power? Who accepts the power? Words amaze and fascinate me - and always have, I must confess. I suppose you can tell! I absolutely love Lewis Carrol's humour, wit and wisdom. Let's see what he contributes to our exploration of success.

"When I use a word," Humpty Dumpty said, in a rather scornful tone, "it means just what I choose it to mean--neither more nor less." "The question is," said Alice, "whether you can make words mean so many different things."The question is," said Humpty Dumpty, "which is to be master – that's all."

In the context of the Olympic Games, success appears to be defined primarily by a place on the podium or a personal best, but the latter doesn't even make the news beyond the immediate moment. Do the athletes choose individually what success means to each of them, I wonder? Are they in charge of the words or do the words master them? What do you think?

Are you deliberate about your choice of words, both spoken and unspoken ones? How conscious are you about the meaning behind and contained within the words you use? Do they mean the same each time? Do they mean the same when you are the speaker and when you are the listener? Can you state with Humpty Dumpty's conviction that the words mean just what YOU choose them to "mean–neither more nor less?"

I have to admit that for years I manipulated words unconsciously, words that included 'work,' 'love,' being strong,' 'pleasing,' and countless more. I had absorbed the meanings of words as they were passed on to me through the cumulative powers of my entire environment, from family, school, and church to media, history and more. Therefore, the temper of words, to quote Humpty Dumpty, certainly could affect me, often negatively. They mastered me most of the time, I would surmise, because I allowed myself to be limited by them.

Only in my twenties, when I was studying foreign languages, literatures, cultures, histories and philosophies, did it dawn on me how important it was for me to learn to choose the exact right words. I realized that in the blink of an eye, my choice of words and my intentions behind them, could divide, rather than unite. And that was just the beginning of a process that's still ongoing for me.

I recognized that I needed to gain clear understanding on how to define or redefine the meaning of each word for myself. I needed to shed layers of assumed identities that I enacted through the use of my words, in particular the ones I spoke quietly to myself on the inside. Only then could I move towards mastery of the words, as Humpty Dumpty suggests–a potential and possibility I continue to live into. How clear and conscious are you on the intentions of the words you are using?

Now back to our starting point: the word success. In my life, numerous understandings of this word have percolated through my being, all leaving their marks on me at certain times. I moved from regarding success as working hard, high academic achievements, financial wealth, having a family and a nice home, to attaining fame in the world and to actively changing the world. In retrospect, all of these meanings point to three common elements in my outlook on life; first, I needed to prove myself to others; second, success was connected with the concept of the extraordinary; and third, I wanted to leave the world a better place.

I want to emphasize that you will come to your own personal insights, which may match or completely contradict mine. And that's just fine as it underscores our uniquenesses. What is most important is that you gain clarity for yourself.

What does the word success mean to me now? Success still means I want to leave the world a better place. So what makes the difference you may ask?

I realize that the word no longer masters me. Instead, I continue to live into the possibility of mastering the word. In this process, I feel grounded and at home most of the time, even when I am confronted with losses and so-called failures or internal and external doubts or questions. I have reshaped the 'world' for myself to symbolize 'my internal landscape.' No longer do I feel compelled to change the world out there because I have relinquished my need for external control. If I believe that we are all whole and that as individuals we reflect the whole, then it follows that I do not need to change the world out there. "Effective action is personal, not social or cultural," aptly states Joseph Chilton Pearce.

In other words, my desire to 'leave the world a better place' can only begin and end with weeding, tilling, sculpting, shaping, pruning, planting, seeding, fertilizing, harvesting, and caring for my internal landscape. Out of this fertile and beautiful landscape grows my notion of success. I challenge myself to treat each seemingly ordinary aspect of the life around and within me with extraordinary attention and intention and a sense of mystery. When I connect with this purpose and passion in myself, the changes in my eternal landscape awaken possibilities not only in me, but by extension in others. To me, that's how resilient community arises, out of this "bond of the heart," to quote J. Pearce again. Resilience, by the way, connotes the ability to absorb shock, adapt and change in a healthy and balanced manner.

Let me summarize what I mean by success. I recognize my success when I light up from the inside out. Success suggests I manage to give the most ordinary aspect of my internal and external life the most extraordinary attention by tending to that landscape. Such purposeful curiosity and passion awaken me to the possibilities that lie within. When others around me start to reflect back the same light, I know I am reaping the extraordinary benefits of the community that emerges from my conscious efforts to master the word success.