Change - Chaos - Transition! How familiar are these three words to you? They aptly describe my birth family's situation right now, with four immediate family members going in and out of various hospitals, and with at least one needing long-term care, most likely.

It fascinates me that the topic of transition has moved me deeply in this last year, to which my choice of conference topics and seminar offerings attest. Given my immediate experiences from this past week, I've decided to write more about the subject, as writing always assists my own healing. May my musings serve as an opportunity for you to reflect, heal and feel inspired.

I will do my best to present a brief overview on my understanding of the three concepts, Change, Chaos, and Transition. Change does not necessarily lead to chaos and transition. But I would contend that change often occurs to challenge, throw, or invite us into the process of transition. I will explain further.

Change happens constantly and perhaps it may be only my impression, but it seems to me that more than the usual amount of change is definitely in the air. You, just like me, might find yourself caught in the midst of it. I am deliberately choosing the word 'caught' as that reflects best my feeling. It makes sense I feel caught because I see change as something that happens externally and generally is situational. Change can happen fast. It often arrives and passes quickly and might require a focus on immediate problem solving, goal orientation, and alteration in plans and situations.

Let's look at my family's immediate situation where rapid changes occurred within several days.  I consider the various illnesses and hospitalizations of family members on the other side of the Atlantic, events that remain outside of my control..Life happens and continues to surprise us. In the meantime, measures need to be taken within my family now how to connect with each person, look after their immediate needs, and see what the external circumstances require for everyone involved to go about their business as efficiently and smoothly as possible. Who does what and where and how are the immediate questions that call for attention.

More change will follow as the failing health of my parents necessitates further modifications or radical reorganizations within the larger family unit. The impact these external and situational changes make on each participant will vary greatly and depend, of course, on a huge number of variables.

So, what do YOU consider change? Where do you agree or disagree with me? I'd be curious to hear your insights on change.

Now to the ensuing chaos. Most changes, I would contend, create initial chaos. For my definition of chaos I'd like to resort to 'chaos theory.' - Keep breathing, I won't get too technical. If you are a scientist, I'm asking you to look at my simple presentation with a kind heart. Generally, we feel comfortable (at least to some degree) when life continues as we know it. Our sense of safety and well-being, sometimes even self-esteem, tends to depend on our familiarity with the status quo, the current and familiar situation in which we find ourselves. That does not mean, the status quo is necessarily helpful to us. Either way, any change that happens contains the potential of a threat to the familiarity of that state of being.

For many of us, that creates discomfort, uneasiness, dis-ease, frustration, and anxiety, just to name a few emotions. We tend to worry or panic when the initial conditions are threatened and feel the possibilities of danger and further change looming above or ahead of us. That's my basic description of chaos.

Here is how Ian Stewart formulates chaos to whom the concept of the butterfly effect is attributed (which is part of the chaos theory). "The flapping of a single butterfly's wing today produces a tiny change in the state of the atmosphere. Over a period of time, what the atmosphere actually does diverges from what it would have done. So, in a month's time, a tornado that would have devastated the Indonesian coast doesn't happen. Or maybe one that wasn't going to happen, does. (Ian Stewart, Does God Play Dice? The Mathematics of Chaos, 141)

How does this rendition of the concept of chaos sound to you? Does it make sense? Maybe it helps you to shed light on your own experiences. And if so, would you like to share those with me? If not, how do YOU understand chaos?

Transition expresses itself as an internal process that is highly individual in form and nature. Through this transformational process we adjust, adapt and come to terms with the changes and the chaos that have permeated the life we used to know. A multitude of emotions characterize this process that invites each one of us to reassess ourselves, life and the world. The words of the writer Gabriel Garcia Marquez depict beautifully what transition entails: "Human beings are not born once and for all on the day their mothers give birth to them, but...life obliges them over and over again to give birth to themselves."

Gabriel Garcia Marquez captures the essence of the three important phases that characterize the process of transition–ENDING, EXPLORATION, EMERGENCE. (I highly recommend William Bridges' work on Transitions as I consider him an authority on this subject. He refers to the three phases as zones: ending, neutral zone, new beginnings.) I prefer to use the terminology 'phase,' but want to emphasize that these phases, as distinct as they are, may overlap. The initial phase of transition is considered the ENDING (or death) of a particular identity, form, value, understanding or situation. Change often precipitates this phase. It's important to keep in mind that even desired change, such as the birth of a child, a move or a wedding, frequently propel us into transitions as they, too, contain the ENDING of a life we leave behind.

I refer to the second phase of transition as the EXPLORATION phase, which may often feel and look like the Great Unknown, a dead end, an abyss, the gulf of darkness, or an emptiness (the dark night of the soul) where we feel the ground shaking and the atmosphere whistling past us. It's completely unsettling, confusing and creates a sense of disconnection and loneliness. Of course, you recognize the chaos in here! However, it is precisely in this phase where we abdicate control and enter into a state of surrender.

No prescribed time line confines us in this EXPLORATION phase that may be filled with tears of joy and grief, pain and agony, doubt and certainty, grace and grit, and many more seemingly conflicting emotions. When we use our time and resources creatively and consciously, though, when we take time to reflect and engage ourselves in inner work and contemplation, we will sense the nudges and eventually the arrival of the next phase. With the support of those who know how to listen, hear us and create a safe space for us while we are immersed in EXPLORATION, we recognize the truth in Lewis Carrol's words, "I can't go back to yesterday because I was a different person then."

This recognition and acceptance signals our initiation into the third phase of transition, EMERGENCE. Here our internal restructuring and reorganization takes shape. By connecting with the sources that can sustain us from within, we begin to gain or regain a sense of purpose. We make plans, we picture and connect with new ways of being and we prepare ourselves to play new roles in our lives.

I am very curious to see, despite the whirlpool of emotions I can feel inside of me, how the changes that have been sparked in my family will translate into personal transformational experiences. We have been invited into the process of transition and each one of us has been given the opportunity to accept and rise to the challenge.

I realize I have not yet gone into the emotional and spiritual components of transition. That requires more time and space than a blog allows. Let me know, though, if particular questions arise for you that I might be able to address in this format.

For now I wonder what transition means for you. What aspects–of my extremely brief description–of this process resonate with you? What emerges for you when you enter a transition? I am looking forward to hearing your insights.